FENCING IN 2007

January 3, 2007

I'm out for a while.

Out of the pools.
Out of lessons.
Out of the gym.
Off my left leg.

The doctor told me that if I wanted to fence with TWO legs versus one, I needed to quit everything except physical therapy.

I had torn my inner and outer meniscus last Spring and I need to either lose a lot of muscle on the right leg or build an equal amount back on the left. Every time I attempt to build muscle on the left leg, it swells up like a blowfish and I can't do anything for a while.

I'm also to try to avoid sitting for long periods of time with my knee bent.

These restrictions stay in force until I can fully extend my left leg and then I can slowly reintroduce some strength training on the left leg.

This is proving much more... challenging... than I had anticipated.

January 7, 2007

Recovering

My knee is no longer as swollen as it once was and I can actually see the faint outline of the knee bone. I can also bend my knee past 90 degrees while doing heel slides if I pull really, really hard and ignore pain. It's not yet 100% of the bend of the right knee but it's close to 90%. I cannot, however, push the back of my left knee to the floor while lifting my left heel off the floor. This is my last major hurdle to clear before I can start strength building again and I just can't flatten that knee.

No thank you, I respectfully decline the offer of a hammer to flatten it. I'll continue focusing upon muscle control. If anyone, however, has a functional magic wand or one of those little devices from the Star Trek medical bay, I'd like to borrow it for a few minutes.

[muttering] All my co-workers were back to normal six weeks post-surgery, including Tom, who teaches martial arts part-time. Me, I'm still trying to flatten the knee to the floor. Grumble. Grumble. GRUMP!

January 12, 2007

Recovering From Injuries

I went to the orthopaedic center today and am typing with 8 fingers and 1 thumb. The doctor said I just overstretched a ligament while fencing in Richmond (I did this on a parry 5) and it should be fine with a month of rest. How do you rest a thumb? Immobilize it as much as possible. He used a split and tape. I went to Walmart and found a velco thumb splint that's a little easier to put on and take off since I don't need to wear it all the time.

It SHOULD go on every night and stay on until morning. During the day, I can take it off while taking a shower, etc.

The PT at the knee clinic gave me a list of five things to accomplish before I am allowed to do ANY lower body exercise beyond the physical therapy exercises:

1. Perfect extension - Check.
2. Little to no swelling - Little swelling 1/11/2007.
3. Walk normally - Check. Well... most of the time.
4. Perfect Flexion - When I stand and pull my left leg up, it's still about 2 inches from my butt, which is still one heck of a lot closer than it was last month, when I couldn't get much beyond a 90 degree bend. Still not there yet.
5. Knee feels comfortable - I nearly choked on this one. I fear it's going to be a long, long time before I can exercise this knee again.

I'm also worried about Atlanta. I want to fence in Atlanta but... I don't want another episode like I had post-Richmond.

Back to the rack. It's time to torture my leg again.

January 25,, 2007

Taking a few months off

My coach has suggested I take a few months off to give my body time to heal and to focus on directing instead.

I hate the idea. Then again, there's no magic wand or Star Trek technology available to make my knee heal faster.

Focusing on directing at least keeps me active.

The guys are going to hate me for a while. I am confident that I understand the written rules but I'm terrible at directing on the strip. Halt! Attack from the right, parry, rip oste.

Parry? That was my beat on his blade!

It's going to be an unhappy few months.

January 25, 2007

Small victories

Tonight, after warming up with 20 heel slides, I managed to sit back on my heels for a full three minutes.

And I only screamed in pain a few times.

It's scary how thrilled I am at such a small victory.

February 8, 2007

Withdrawal Symptoms

I sent a withdrawal e-mail yesterday, stating my intention to withdraw from participation in the NAC E.

I hate this, but I proved two things at Richmond:
(1) I can finish in the finals. My fencing skills are not where I want them to be but they are good enough to put me in the middle of the pack and finishing 7th at the Summer Nationals was not a fluke. I will do this again. Someday.

(2) My knee is not sufficiently healed to be fencing and if I continue fencing, I may sabotage my ability to fence in the future. Explicitly, the doctor told me that unless I wanted to take up one-legged fencing, I would stop fencing for several weeks.

I note that I also injured my right thumb ligament during the pool bouts on Sunday at Richmond and thus I couldn't even practice bladework.

I had two doctor appts. this week and my knee is progressing on a normal recovery path again. I can even sit back on my heels for a couple of minutes without screaming. With a little luck, I'll be easing back into footwork in late April, which will be almost exactly one year after the initial injury. My thumb ligament is also recovering and I need to warm it up before using it (microwave, anyone?) and ice it after use. Thus, I can start bladework again. For now, I'll be doing bladework in the evenings at home and Saturday at practice.

The physical therapy exercises are filling my day and then there's this little matter of a 40 hour work week that I must accommodate...

I'm rather depressed about missing the NAC, but I know it's the right thing to do.

February 11, 2007

Why Am I Fencing

Since I can't do much at the moment, I've been stepping back and asking myself if I really, really want to be devoting as much time to fencing as I have in the past. Is making the World team when I'm 60 what I really want or just something that I've adopted because others tell me I should want it? What do I really want?

I love fencing. The 3 weeks I didn't go to practice were miserable and depressing but I concede that much of this was due to pain and not knowing if I'd ever walk normally again.

So now I'm back at practice refereeing and I'm trying to figure out just how crushed I'm going to be if this recovery thing fails and I can't compete at that level again. Actually, I think I'm trying to talk myself into being comfortable with that just in case I can't return to a level where I can practice 4 days a week without my knee swelling and becoming unusable.

I started fencing because the opportunity was there and I'd told several people I wanted to learn and from there, I fell in with people who were competing quite a bit and I tagged along. The next thing I knew, I was going on without them and adrenline kept me competing until well after I should have taken a break after the knee surgery in July.

Why am I fencing? What is it I really want to achieve? And if I really and truly want to make the world team when I'm 60, am I truly committed to the next few years of training and skill development that I'll need?

Am I really willing to pay the price for a goal that will cost me airfare, hotel, etc. and time away from other things I could be doing. Knowing that it may lead to more knee problems?

Now is the time to decide this; not after I recover and start practicing 4 days a week again.

February 20, 2007

Kicking Butt

No, I'm not back on the piste yet.

However, my knee has improved to the point where I can literally... well... after 5 minutes of exercise to loosen it up... kick butt. My butt, to be exact.

I can now stand up, put my right hand against the wall to keep from falling over, and pull my left foot up until I touch my butt.

This is a hopeful sign.

I'm taking it slow, staying off the strip, and focusing on spending 1-3 hours a day (during and after work) doing these stupid exercises to regain mobility and strength in that left knee.

The determining factor will be whether or not I can fence without the knee swelling and the left leg locking into a permanent en garde stance.

I absolutely want to get back into the old routine again although part of me wants to cut back and have some time for other activities.

February 23, 2007

Directing Words

I have forgotten most of the words that Derek Cotton said to use while directing.

As I recall, he said that one mistake many of us make is using too many words and thus giving the fencers an opportunity to complain. Keep it simple.

Attack arrived.
Beat attack arrived.
Attack - parry - riposte

But what were some of the others? I've forgotten.

I referreed at a small (7 fencers) local competition today and once again, I found myself getting far too nervous, flustered, and making stupid mistakes in calls. Afterwards, one of the fencers who is also a director talked to me and said that while I seemed to be calling most of the points right (AH! I'm making progress!) I was throwing him off with my calls because they were all, Attack arrived. Point to X when many of them were not attacks but counter-attacks or remises.

Just like the old joke about walking and chewing gum at the same time, I'm having one hellish time calling the action properly and using hand signals and I really, really, really need to get this right. Thus, I've been focusing on the hand signals and paying little heed to what I said as long as I got the point to the right side.

I need to stop that.

One other thing I did wrong tonight was to reverse the score for one bout. I flipped it and recorded the loser as the winner and vice versa. Fortunately, the fencer who won the bout remembered winning and pointed out the error. Also fortunately, I recorded the scores on folded index cards (a suggestion from Derek Cotton) so my hands would not be holding a clipboard and thus I could simply look through the folded index cards for the bout and verify he was correct.

Learning to direct is (imho) every bit as difficult as learning to fence and it's not fun as fencing is fun. I'm doing this only because we have such a shortage of referees.

One more week before the Arnold competiton. I think I'm going to be watching a lot of videos and practicing words.

Attack. Point-in-line. Remise. Counter-attack. Attack into preparation.

What ARE the rest of the words? Sigh! I took notes. If I could only remember where I PUT the darn things!

March 2, 2007

A Kick in the Gut

I looked at the list of entries for the next NAC and noted my name was not there.

This is a good thing because it means my withdrawal went through in time, but it also felt much like someone kicked me hard in the gut.

I am not going to be there.

Only 11 WSV50 participants. I had to resist the desire to book a flight, grab my equipment and offer to pay a late fee. Never mind I haven't fenced in two months, I WANNA GO!!!!!!

March 11, 2007

Knee Update

With time at the gym and time with just the PT exercises, I figure I'm putting in 15-20 hours a week just on knee rehabilation.

The good news is that my limping is reduced to (1) when I first wake up, and (2) when I first stand up after sitting for a half hour or more. I'm also able to bend the knee fully after ten heel slides and it usually only takes about 30-60 seconds of stretching out my legs on the floor for the first stretch of the day before my left leg extends fully.

I still cannot kneel without my body forming an S but once I've kept that position for a full minute, it starts becoming a cursive l, leaning to the right. I think that another month or two of this will eventually allow me to sit back and keep my body straight.

I tried to go en garde recently and the left knee HURT!!!!!

I think it's going to be some time yet before I'm back to fencing normally and I have a bad feeling that I'm never going to reach my definition of normal again.

I will be starting bladework only lessons again soon.

March 14, 2007

More whining

I decided to start easing back into the old routine by adding one night of practice per week even though I'm restricted to bladework exercises only.

Since I arrived early, I did some warm-ups and discovered that while I cannot go down into a squat or rise from a squat, I can squat.

Let me explaint that. I cannot stand there and slowly sit down into a squat. However, once I'm actually positioned into a squat, I can balance myself and I have enough strength in that bad knee to stay there without falling over. Getting out of the squat, however, is a tricky matter.

I spent some time practicing parries in front of the mirror and I THINK I haven't forgotten how to do everything.

I suspect that when I start lessons again, Coach will tell me that I am mistaken and I have, in fact, forgotten everything I'd learned.

March 23, 2007

Recovering

It's been a long, hard winter. Since fencing at Richmond in the NAC C, my knee swelled badly and my doctor told me that if I didn't want to take up one-legged fencing, I needed to stop fencing until my left knee sufficiently recovered. For the record, that means my left knee needs to be at 75% or more the strength of the right knee. I was at 60%. According to my most recent doctor visit, I'm still at about 60%. That sounds like no progress but I've regained full range of motion in the left leg since January, I no longer limp, and I can feel the knee becoming stronger each day. On the leg press, it's almost 90%. It's that poor leg extension that's keeping me off the strip now.

March 29, 2007

I've Forgotten Everything

It seems the rules for qualify for DIA, DII, and DIII have changed since last year and I'll need to go to the division qualifier if I want to fence DII and/or III so if I fenced Sunday, I'd be -- in Coach's words -- taking a risk for nothing.

So I decided to test my legs tonight instead and at the end of 10 minutes of fencing, my left knee felt sore. However, it was no more sore than it usually is during weight training and it didn't swell (thus far) so I'm cautiously optomistic.

Tonight was my first lesson -- actually a half lesson due to time -- in three months. [In addition to the knee problem, I slilghtly injured my right thumb ligament while fencing at Richmond and I was supposed to rest it for 6 weeks.]

I've completely forgotten how to do a circular parry 3 or 4. I'm gripping the sabre like a hammer. I'm also letting my right arm drift to the left and leave my right side unprotected.

And I couldn't do a parry 2 for anything.

I've got three months to prepare for SN. The most difficult thing I've got to remember to do in training is to NOT work hard.

The bladework will come back with practice and lessons. The footwork will have to come back at the pace of my knee's recovery and pushing hard will just make it take longer.

April 4, 2007

A Stationary Fencing Lesson

Since I'm not supposed to be moving on the strip yet, tonight's lesson was about improving my parries. Val kept telling me to move the blade, not the guard, and it took me some time to understand what he meant. Standing in front of the mirror, I could finally see what he was talking about.

When I parry four, I'm moving the guard before the blade and leaving myself open. What I need to focus upon now is moving the blade.

Parry 5 is another problem as I tend to hunch my shoulder up, swing my wrist widely, and then move the blade with my shoulder.

Val pointed out the center of balance. This is where I needed to turn the blade.

We ended with Val demonstrating by crouching beside a table with his elbow resting on the table.

Like THIS!

Wrist turns, blade comes down. Guard hits and the hand drops.

Then it was my turn and it took about two attempts to get this.

I'm going to need to practice these and fine tune my parries.

I did do a little light fencing. No quick moves. No lunges.

W -- who is a new fencer -- beat me 0 to 5.

I feel like I've lost everything I've worked two years to achieve.

Argh!

April 12, 2007

Fencing with the kids

Tonight, I fenced with the y12 and under kids, which was about the right speed for dealing with my knee. They had an odd number of fencers to work on drills so I made it an even number and practiced my parries while they worked on advance-lunge, beat, and other drills.

My lessons are still mostly stationary due to the aforementioned knee problem, so we're working on form and tactics. My parries are coming along but still need work and I seem to have forgotten far too many things during my time off to recover from the knee and the thumb ligament problem.

I'm struggling to learn how to take control of the bout. I've been either rushing out there for a SA or letting the other fencer take control and trying to find an opening. Now Val is trying to teach me how to make my own openings and this isn't easy when you can't jump, lunge, flunge, etc.

A problem area I need to work upon in parrying is my unfortunate tendency to step back out of distance so my riposte falls short. My timing is off on that one.

If the knee doesn't swell overnight, I'll work on that one tomorrow.

April 15, 2007

Still Dragging Along in a Slow Recovery

It's frustrating to be unable to get out on the strip and fence, but at least I'm back into lessons again.

No jumping. No lunging. Hardly any movement at all. Work is more or less resricted to bladework.

I feel that I've forgotten everything and I'm starting over again. On the plus side, it's coming back quickly and this is an excellent opportunity to eliminate some of those bad habits.

But I'm still finding it difficult to be positive about all this.

I want to FENCE!!!!

April 28, 2007

Applying a Fencing Lesson

Thursday night I had a fencing lesson and Coach left me with a "teaser" to think about before Sunday's competition: Simultaneous attacks with head cuts. Ready, fence! Sometimes he would do a head cut and sometimes he flicked at my arm. So why could I reach him sometimes and not others?

Umm..... distance?

And what was I doing differnetly? Nothing. What was he doing different? Um..... I don't know.

Sigh! Stepping back.

The objective is to learn to see what the opponent is doing with sufficient time to adjust.

Sabre is fast. Think about how to work around flicks. So last night, I did a very bad thing... I decided that since the other club in town was having a small, unrated sabre fencing competition and none of them were overly aggressive fencers likely to cause me to injure myself, I would try fencing and withdraw if I felt that I was overdoing it.

Repeat after me: The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

There were supposed to be four fencers and I knew they were all unrated teenage fencers who were unlikely to hit hard, flunge into me, or otherwise injure me but I had failed to consider my own competitiveness in calculating my ability to withdraw if I was overdoing it.

There were seven of us and J and I took turns refereeing the pools and double-stripped as much as possible.

I lost the first bout 5-4 partially because I was fencing defensively and trying to avoid lunging. I lost another because the fencer had a very good reach and would draw me in and then flick. Oh... a flicker! I'm supposed to be working on this, aren't I? Well... I didn't figure it out.

Much to my surprise, I was second out of the pool, which meant that I fenced the #7 fencer and I iced my knee before fencing the next fencer. I hadn't expected to win that bout but like I noted earlier, my competiveness took over and something was clicking in my head. I wasn't consciously making an effort to change my fencing style to match my opponent's, but I was adapting, thinking about what to do next, and just overall fencing with my head more than my body.

So I was now up against the #1 seeded fencer, which was the teenager with the long reach and the long legs who could move backwards and forwards far faster than I could. Well... here was my opportunity to work on what Coach had told me to think about. How do you attack someone who waits for you and then flicks?

Point-in-line was not a good strategy. He knew how to address that and I couldn't move backwards fast enough to respon properly. Okay, what's left? I finally played a game of teasing, pushing the blade aside, and advancing as fast as I could to score a touch. Let him think this is just another tap on the blade and when distance is right, nail it!

This worked for the first half and I was ahead 8-3 when everyone walked over at the break and told him how to fence differently. Maybe just taking a break would have been enough for him to change tactics, but I lost that bout 15-12.

Still, I'm happy with myself. As he adjusted tactics, I adjusted mine. I was fencing someone whose best manuever was a flick and I was THINKING and PLANNING what to do next as I walked back to the en garde line.

I might have done better if I'd tried harder, but I was tired and it was late and I wasn't sufficiently motivated. There is a point at which my competitive nature starts to shut down and I'd reached that point at the break.

I'd achieved what I'd wanted to achieve which was to reaffirm my confidence in my ability to recover and to recognize that I really and truly was starting to fence with my head.

I am an idiot by comparison to most of my club members in the ability to see, recognize, and respond on the strip but I no longer think I can't do this. I now believe that I'm capable and it's just going to take more time, more work, and greater focus.

I love fencing and I'm very, very relieved that it looks like I'll be able to do this competitively again.

As I drove home, I could feel my knee throbbing and threatening to swell. Once home, it felt like it had last time it was starting to swell. I immediately filled my cryo cuff, elevated the leg, and spent over an hour wearing it. This morning, the knee is stiff but does not feel swollen.

YES!!!!

April 29, 2007

No Division II or III for me

I didn't make the cut at the Division Qualifiers so I'll only be able to fence Veteran at the Summer Nationals this year. It's a good thing I'd already decided that it might be wise to concentrate on that event only this year. Next season, the knee should be a little more function and I should be able to step up the pace of training again.

I'll fence DII and DIII at the NACs this year if all goes well.

April 30, 2007

The Latest on the Knee

Today was check-up day at the Physical Therapy location.

The bad news is that my knee is swollen this morning. Next time I drive three hours (one way) to a competition, I need to ice that knee a little longer before driving home.

The good news is that I've made good progress and I turned in the torture device. I can do an active heel lift without needing to warm up first. I have full extension and flex. The strength tests were in the 70s except for one, which was in the 90s and the goal was to get into the 80s. While 100 would be ideal, 80s would be acceptable.

I'll report back for another test at the end of June and I essentially keep doing what I've been doing. However, I do get to start easing back into fencing with the warning not to overdo it and to take time off when I have swelling, etc.

I've lost the "shock absorber" on my left knee and the next best thing is to build muscle and develop a very strong knee.

This season is a loss -- although I still plan to fence WSV50 at the SN -- but my focus now is upon improving for the 07-08 season. I'm hitting the 55 mark this summer and I'd like to make the finals a few more times before I age into the 60s. With the strong fencers coming out of the 40s, this would be a major challenge even without the knee issue.

May 3, 2007

Regaining the Legs

Yes, the knee is still swollen.

I went to practice and fenced fairly light. Coach said I am slow and I should stick with the less experienced fencers. Focus on next season, recovery, and not getting hurt.

But I still fenced a little with one of our C fencers, which gave me an opportunity to work on defence and practice getting my hand out of the way of flicks. I also worked with W, who is a developing fencer, and P, who recently earned his D. P likes to retreat and sweep and I was working on retreating and sleeve touches. I fenced with two of the girls who have graduated from the beginning programs and while they're doing everything right, they're also slow and they're broadcasting their movement. It's nice to see this partially because I remember all too well what it was like to be at that point.

Tonight's lesson covered beating into a 3, a 4, and then a 5. I have major problems with the beat into a 5 because my arm wants to keep going. In fact, this is one of my major challenges of the moment: stop that wrist. I was doing the same thing later in cut-and-remise wherein I'd move too far and if Coach moved his arm back, I couldn't remise because my blade had gone too far to the left.

More things to work upon.

I'm also having problems standing. For reasons unknown, but which probably have something to do with the wounded knee, I'm wanting to stand sideways, like a beginner foilist.

I'm also taking exaggerated steps and flopping around loudly -- like a clown. I think this comes from instructions to kick the toe up and extend, etc. I have to THINK when I walk to keep from limping and it's carried over into fencing. I've also toddled and nearly fallen sideways a couple of times.

I keep telling myself that strength will come with time and work. I just need to stop worrying about that, get the swelling down, nd focus upon bladework.

I miss having two good legs.

May 14, 2007

Preparing for the Summer Nationals

I've been telling myself over and over and over again that I need to forget competition this year and just have fun, visit people, watch events, etc. and yet as time grows closer and the knee becomes a little more functional, I hear a voice whispering: Finish in the top 8 and you'll be an alternate.

My goals were to (1) not finish last, (2) finish in the top 8, (3) make alternate, and (4) make the top 4 when I hit 60.

I finished in the top 8 at the last SN with two meniscus tears in my knee, but I went in there in great physical condition (except for the knee) and after about 3 months of twice-weekly lessons. We're back down to one coach (Sergi returned home to Chicago) and there's only time for one lesson a week. My body is in terrible shape after a year of minimal activity and I'm badly out of practice.

It is NOT LOGICAL to aspire to make the top 8.

But the voice is growing louder.

I don't think I can *NOT* go for broke every time. Holding back and being careful not to injure myself so I'll be in good condition next year is just... well... not me.

My husband keeps saying, "You always say you're not able to do something and then you go out there and do it." So he EXPECTS me to earn a medal. He has never seen how the others fence and he's got it set in his mind that I am capable of doing the impossible.

Faith is nice but... jeez! I could do with a little less pressure both from external sources and from internal sources.

May 19, 2007

Circle City Open

Results here

How badly did I fence? So badly that I did one thing I never do and another thing I rarely do.

I said DAMN IT! and then hoped no one heard me. This was during the DE that I should have won and gave away by doing stupid things after being reasonably ahead at the half.

I also questioned a referee's call. That's rare for me and I knew even when I questioned it that I was in the wrong. My emotions were just running so high that I lost my normal control and that worries me.

Frustration was the prevailing emotion during the bouts.

Self-directed anger was my emotion during the DE.

I used to ignore the points and focus on one at a time and I tried to do that again today but I kept thinking about what I needed to do and how badly I needed to win and all the self-doubts I had came rushing in.

And I did really, really stupid things during that DE.

After I returned home, I cut the grass (good for being alone and thinking) and decided that I can fold my tent and disappear or I can just dig in and formulate a plan of action.

Of course, I'm doing the latter. I am stubborn.

May 26, 2007

Summer Camps

I cannot attend the pre-Summer National fencing camp this year partially because my knee simply couldn't survive a camp and partially because my employer is sending me to Chicago that week. We're required to acquire certifications and that means attending classes and passing tests. More, I've got a heavy workload before and after that week of training so even if I could trade dates with another co-worker, I still wouldn't be able to take that week off to attend the fencing camp.

May 26, 2007

Practice

Today, I wanted to fence everyone who was at practice but that didn't happen. I did, however, manage to fence 9 members of the club and I wasn't paying attention to scores, but concentrating on actions since each person had their strengths and weaknesses.

Mine is: slow, timing is off, and predictability. I also have a light beat.

Before driving home, I iced my knee and I note that thus far it seems to be okay.

I followed fencing with 15 minutes of weight training, some knee exercises, and 4 laps in the swimming pool.

May 27, 2007

My Strengths

RTFencing asked me a question that made me pause and realize that I've been focusing so much upon what I cannot do that I haven't stopped to think about what I can do well.

Hmmm... What can I do well?

I'd say my favorite manuever is one where I bring my blade down on top of the opponent's sabre and twist my wrist counter-clockwise to take his/her blade down and out of the way. I love the feel of that manuever and I've become quite good at it, although I note it's more efficient to beat the blade rather than take it on most occasions. I'm also good at going under the opponent's blade and hitting the lower arm. My parry three and five are excellent, although I'm a little slow on the parry 5-riposte. My remise is fast approaching good.

In general, I'd say my bladework is adequate and maybe even good but I just haven't yet developed the strategic skills to enable me to use that skill effectively.

May 30, 2007

Improving

Tonight's lesson focused on defensive bladework, largely because that's about all I can do at the moment. Although Coach pointed out I was using my writst too much in beats and not enough in parries, I was mostly happy with the progress made thus far. I feel that I'm back to where I was on bladework and I just need to regain the use of my left knee and start regaining footwork to be back where I was last summer.

My reactions are improving. Now if I can just improve my actions... [grin]

June 1, 2007

Shifting Gears

I've been complaining for a while that my left knee problem means I've been stuck in first gear and thus my movement up and down the strip looks like the Little Old Lady From Pasadena has taken up fencing. This last week, I've been working as much as possible on forward-forward-back and I note that my footwork now reminds me of the 1960 American Rambler that I drove as a teenager.

It wouldn't go over 60 miles per hour; had no emergency/parking brake, and shifting from one gear to another meant lurching, darn near stalling, and taking off with a jerk (not my first husband -- the OTHER Webster dictionary definition of jerk).

Anyone fencing me when I try this manuever will lose the touch ONLY if they fall down with laughter when they see me attempt to step forward and then back.

I CAN do the manuever but as I watched myself in the mirror, I knew it was hopeless. If the Summer Nationals were held in September, I think I could make it back to the final eight but with the way I'm moving now, I'll be lucky to be in the top 80% for the DEs.

Yes, I knew going into this that I couldn't hope to do well this year, but that doesn't make it any easier.

June 8, 2007

Stomp!

I spent most of last night's practice trying to learn the manuever Coach showed me at the end of last night's lesson. I now have half of it... the half that leaves me out there, ready to be hit. I spent some time fencing some of the younger fencers, hoping that this would give me more opportunities to try the manuever, but most of them were preparing for SN and they were focusing upon their own recent lessons.

A and I fenced later and at the end, she asked, "What was all that stomping about?" I said, "It's my knee, trying to shift into reverse after stopping. The only way I could effectively stop the forward movement quickly was to stomp and then try to shift into reverse. It's my emergency brake."

I miss my automatic transmission on my knee.

I note that my bladework is continuing to improve and when I returned home and used that stupid hand-spring thing for building grip strength, I could FINALLY get the thing to work as well as I could with my left hand. [I injured my thumb ligament at Richmond during WSVET pools when I did a parry 5 and that's another thing that's been slowing me down.]

June 14, 2007

More preparations

Last night's lesson was fraught with failure. I kept trying, and failing, to sweep to a proper parry. The objective was to start in three and -- seeing the threat move to four -- simply move the arm into four. I kept turning my wrist, wanting to take parry 5 and couldn't break myself of the bad habit.

We finished with another problem area of mine: Impatience. Specifically, I was to do a beat attack, be PATIENT and look for an opening, and then attack. Coach noted that my beats look like an attack that the opponent parried and I need to finish my defense before attacking or the director is probably going to award it to the opponent.

We did this a few times and I kept falling into the bad habit of beat-immediate-attack and while this works in some cases, the point of the exercise was to get me to move effectively and I just wasn't doing it. Near the end, I was doing a little better but now I have to go to Chicago for a week of mandatory training (and my job is dependent upon my ability to pass a certification exam), and then I'll be heading out to the Summer Nationals without any real opportunity to work on this.

Next week is the summer camp, Saturday everyone is off to something else, and the following week people leave for Miami.

I haven't even started to think about the hell month that will follow my return from SN. We've got a very tight schedule at work such that I'll probably be forced to miss the SECOND summer camp.

June 6, 2007

More preparations

I need one of those magic watches that stops time around me so I can regain the skills I need to be ready for the SN competition.

The problem now is not my knee; the problem is my inability to get into the mental mind set necessary for competitions. I've been out of competition for far too long and I've lost what little ability I once had to evaluate an opponent and plan my actions.

I'm just standing on the strip, reacting. My movements are predictable and my timing is badly off.

I want a magic watch. I figure it's going to take me at least six months to regain lost ground and start progressing again.

Everyone around me EXPECTS me to do well at the SN and I know I'm not going to do well and I cannot convince those who know me to stop expecting a medal.

My husband is the worst: Oh, you always say you cannot do X and then you go out and do it.

AAAAAYYYYYEEEEEIIIIIII!

June 17, 2007

Small Progress

Yesterday, I made it all the way through fencing footwork exercises at the club for the first time post-injury.

No swelling afterwards.

Hurrah!

I'll be in Chicago for mandatory training for a week and may have an opportunity to fence Thursday if work constraints allow. The job, for now, comes first. It is, after all, what generates the income that allows me to fence competitively. Without it, I'd be fencing invisible opponents in my driveway

June 24, 2007

Another problem

I'm trying to figure out what is wrong with my right arm while trying to work a doctor's appointment into an overcrowded schedule.

Symptoms: the right elbow feels like my elbow usually feels a couple of minutes after I bang the funny bone into something. The underside of my elbow aches. The entire forearm aches like I overdid it liftiing weights a day earlier.

I've rested it (except for computer-related work) so I'm fairly certain it's not fencing related.

Symptoms began when I started working in an inventory database designed by someone who wanted to hurt people. How else do you explain all the move, click, move, click, move click, move, click requirements? You cannot tab to the next item. Oh, no! You must move the mouse and then click. A simple change meant at least three moves and clicks to bring up the item and then 3-4 moves and cclicks to make a change.

I did this about 50 times the first day, 100 times the second day, and then an average of 50 times a day for the next two weeks or so while also hunting for items.

And the barcode scanner doesn't work. Yet.

I'm required to get the scanner functional and do it again and input changes using the special inventory adjustment function which is more move, click, move, click ad infitium.

I think it's tennis elbow, but I just don't know yet. The wrist feels fine, but the forearm, elbow, upper arm, and shoulder hurt.

One more thing to have wrong before SN.

June 27, 2007

Another Knee Checkup

I'm still not yet released for normal routines; however, the range of motion is normal and the problem is that I'm lop-sided and off-balance because the quad muscle is just not recovering very well. I was at 72% last time and I'm at 74% now. Yes, it's going the right direction but I'm not over the hump yet.

I have more exercises to do, including squatting while holding onto something (because I get "stuck"). [Help! I've squatted and I can't get up!]

I can, however, resume most normal activities only at a much lower activity level than in the past. I can run one lap on the inside track, but not at full speed. I can jump back and forth a little bit (and that's one of the exercises), but no jumping rope for a while.

I'd like to know, however, what the heck I did to my right arm. It hurts from forearm to shoulder.

July 7, 2007

Summer National Report

I finished 9th which means no medal, no glory, etc. Yes, I would have been happy with this a month ago but the knee has improved greatly since then and I really, really felt like I had a good shot at making the final 8 if I could just have a few more weeks... even two more.

Despite buying One Touch At a Time, I just couldn't get the mental attitude together in time and yes, I do think it was the mental attitude more than lack of practice, the balance problems, the tennis elbow, or even the banged up foot where I rolled the plastic fencing case across it.

Last year, I felt READY. This year, I felt deer-in-the-headlights. Actually, I felt like I was trying to outrun a train and I was half-way across the bridge when I realized the vibration wasn't from the wind but from the train speeding towards me. Ack! Run!

I just couldn't get that comfortable feeling and thus even though I had a good shot at it, I missed and I missed in a way that literally made me physically ill for a short while afterwards. I thought I was going to vomit.

For my pool, I was up against DeliaTurner, Doty Nicolau, Katherine Slaten, Catherine Vanderloos, and Linda Flunker.

I started off with the expected loss to Delia. I did manage to score one touch on her but that was at the beginning of the bout, when I managed to do something unexpected, and I did not succeed again. Catherine took the lead and looked like she was going to lock me out and then I came back and took the lead briefly. We were 4-4 when she claimed the final point and thus the victory. I also lost to Doty. Do you see a trend here? By this time, I was feeling desperate because I hadn't really competed (unless you count the divisional qualifier and the local events) since December. My gawd! I've lost it. I'm going to finish last!

Fortunately, I managed to focus and fence wisely in the next two matches and I don't think either one of them scored a touch on me. Thus, I finished 2V and +2, making me seeded 8th and fencing the 9th place finisher.

I stood staring at the sheet for a moment, heart frozen and then thumping at the speed of light and thinking, OHMYGAWDOHMYGAWDOHMYGAWDIMUSTDOTHIS!!!!

She got the first point and I got the second and held the lead through the half. This is when her coach walked over and started telling her how to adjust her game and I looked around and -- in a moment of adrenline poisoning- looked at all the other fencers watching and shouted "SOMEONE TALK TO ME. I DON'T HAVE A COACH WITH ME."

I had been fencing smart up until this point. Wanatabe was a defensive fencer who usually waited for my attacks. However, she was good enough to not only parry, but to parry my parry and riposte. This was a problem.

Two points separated us until I was at 7 or 8 and then I just lost it.

Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!

I went over to watch my clubmates, who were also not doing as well as they'd hoped and then returned to watch the last Veteran 50 bouts and the award ceremony. Yes, it hurt to watch the ceremony but I had no legitimate excuse for leaving and I believe it's important to honor those who succeed by being there whenever possible for their moment in the spotlight.

That's the bad stuff. Now let's stop and think about this.

I went out there with a knee that was mostly recovered but I hadn't yet relearned how to use it. I also had tennis elbow (or so the doctor says) and I hadn't had the opportunity to go to the fencing camp and I'd had two months with no fencing due to the thumb ligament injury and the knee problem and...well... it was an uphill battle so should I really be this upset about losing?

Yes, I should. This is how I am. I'm going to beat up on myself for this for a while but then I'm going to eventually step back and take lessons learned from it and formulate a plan for NEXT year.

I know what my primary problem was in that DE: My mental state. I was thinking too much about how desperately I needed to score a point and not concentrating sufficiently on the principle of one touch at a time.

Notes made for next season include:

Fix the arm. I talked to a couple of trainers early Friday morning and they're
skeptical that this is a tennis elbow or just a tennis elbow. The triceps appears to be involved and my shoulder HURTS. I need to get another opinion, request PT or OT and maybe get an MRI. I put too much money into the FSA so I might was well ask them to take a good look at that shoulder. It hasn't hurt like this since I injured it in an auto accident almost two decades ago.

Fix the leg. My knee was fine after fencing and it's now swollen again. I felt it start swelling about 2 hours into the sardine can tride... er... um... I mean the flight home the following day and I'm 100% certain that the problem was the cramped space and NOT the fencing. Houston to Indianapolis was on a puddle jumper and that's when I could literally feel the knee throbbing. Given that fencing alone didn't bother it and car trips less than an hour in duration don't bother the knee, I think it's time to stop babying it and start cranking up the routine.

I intend to focus on
(1) jumping backwards as far and as fast as possible.
(2) jumping forwards as far as possible
and
(3) changing direction as fast as possible.

This season is over for me. Next season is still in the future.